Settling
by chalantness
Summary: I know I'll always hate Zach because he's tall with broad shoulders and a face that belongs on the red carpet and, if that weren't enough, he has you.


_**A/N:**_ Technically I'm supposed to be studying for finals and therefore _not_ writing fanfiction but this idea has been stuck in my head and been bugging me so in order to get it out of my system so I really _can_ study for the rest of my finals, I decided to write it. So here's a quickie ZC fanfiction in Josh's POV. Tell me what you think because I'm experimenting writing ZC from other people's POVs.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Gallagher Girls Series because it is rightfully owned by Ally Carter; nor am I making a profit from this fanfic, which is rightfully owned by me.

* * *

**Settling**

By sakuracherish814

* * *

**Josh POV**

I freeze in the doorway of my family's pharmacy the moment I see you.

You're actually here.

I'm actually seeing you.

Cammie.

Because of the fact you're always locked away in that school of yours, I never see you. You rarely come into town, not without your friends hoarding around you. And never do you stop by the pharmacy or deliberately come looking for me. I never get to see you, but I feel my face form a frown as I realize that _he_ always gets to see you, especially ever since they all came back, whoever the hell they are. (We all know they're there now ever since the limousines drove back into town and _he_ stepped out with the rest of them, just like before.)

But I push those thoughts to the back of my mind. I'll think about them later. For now, I just want to focus on you.

You're standing under the streetlight on the opposite block, leaning against it, just waiting.

Oh, God, you're beautiful.

Then again, when _weren't_ you ever beautiful?

You're out of your uniform, dressed casually for a sunny day in the neighborhood. I can tell you did something with your hair, even from here. You're hair never curled at the ends like that. And you have bangs now. You tilt your head ever so slightly, and I can see the gleam of the jewelry you are wearing.

A pair of earrings, a necklace, a thin bracelet, and even a watch.

All silver and rhinestones.

Or, at least they _look_ like it from here.

For all I know, they could be more expensive than just silver and rhinestones.

They must have some significant meaning to you, because you absently play with the small, heart-shaped pendant on your necklace as a fond smile forms on your face. It was one of pure content.

You never used to smile like that with me. Whenever you'd smile at me, it was always a calculated one, as if you're not exactly sure if you _should_ smile at me. You never acted completely casual with me. With me, all your moves had been premeditated; they'd been given a great deal of thought. Before, I thought it was because you were nervous.

But I know better now.

You give that smile to your friends as you laugh and walk around town, oblivious to the attention you grab whenever you're _out_ of those uniforms from that school. It was as if goddesses were waltzing down the sidewalk. Whenever you girls would be out of your uniforms and just dressed like everybody else, people forget about you being Gallagher Girls, and so they can't help but stare.

But it's something more than just beauty that makes your smiles all so dazzling.

You and all your friends always look so content and blissful. You all look in absolute euphoria all the time, practically glowing.

None of us could quite understand it.

Not DeeDee. Not my friends.

But those smiles are similar to the other ones I see around town. Obviously, the ones I see around town aren't as attention-grabbing and don't look as if they belong to a celebrity. It's all there, though. Those smiles around town are content and blissful and euphoric, just like yours. I'd seen my parents give it to each other all the time.

And that's when it hits me.

It's love.

Your smiles—they're ones out of love, aren't they?

Not _just_ the love towards your family.

Not _just_ the love towards your friends.

Not even _just_ the love towards a boyfriend or a lover.

The love you proudly display on your faces, laced into your laughter, shown by your actions; _that_ kind of love is only induced when all three things are true. Cammie, you absolutely love your family. I can tell. And it's quite obvious you and your friends are practically joined at the hip. But a certain pang – I don't know, one of jealousy perhaps? – hits me as I realize that you're in love.

With a guy who _isn't_ me.

And I can imagine who it is.

Zach.

God, I've hated knowing about Zach ever since _that_ day.

I had been so happy to just have seen you that day. I thought it would be months, or never, since I would see you again. I'd thought and wished about seeing you again, even just once. Even if once more is all I got, I wanted so badly to see you. And when I _had_ gotten the chance, I thought it was a dream. But, no. You were actually there. But you acted strangely. Hesitantly. I thought it was because it was awkward for you since we had broken up, something even _I_ could entirely remember, (which I thought was kind of strange.)

But apparently that wasn't the case.

When DeeDee came up behind me, talking a mile a minute, you looked at us with obvious realization. You seemed to be inwardly confirming something – the fact that we were an "item" now – which was something I had been expecting.

But then you're face smoothed out, and then was calm.

And that's when _he_ came in.

He just waltzed down the street and stood by your side, inviting himself in.

And it wasn't just the fact he had just let himself into the conversation, into the moment, (no matter how awkward it was getting with DeeDee talking and me just staring at you while you were staring at DeeDee with an expression I couldn't quite decipher). No, it wasn't just that.

It was the fact you _let_ him in. You _let_ him welcome himself; make himself comfortable.

When he came in, a different terror came upon your face. I recognized it almost instantly, because it was one of secrecy. It was one a person wore when they knew they were going to get caught. It was similar to the look you sometimes gave me when we were "dating." It was the same face DeeDee and I had put on just a few moments ago, when you pieced everything together.

That's when I realized you, too, were no longer open. You had been claimed as well.

By him.

I bring myself out of my morbid thoughts when I hear a voice, deep and strong and laced with pride, call out "Cammie!"

You look up, and I do too as Zach jogs down the block and right to your side.

I can feel my heart begin to drop in my chest.

No, he doesn't just stop there.

He wraps his arms around your waist, and you let him do so, inviting him in by placing your arms on his chest. And then he kisses you, and you stretch up on your toes and lean in to kiss him back. My heart's steady decline becomes a free-fall as I watch you both smiling into the kiss, only parting a few moments later due to lack of oxygen.

I should've known it was _him_ you were waiting for.

I can't stand watching you guys laughing and talking and holding each other so closely, yet for some strange reason I can't tear my eyes from you.

You pull apart a little further to lean your back against the metal streetlight post, looking up at him, smiling, and then laughing because he takes a step with you to keep his arms around your waist. He's smiling, almost smirking, actually, as he makes a comment that sends your hand flying back to your pendant. His smirk gets wider as he's still talking, and then the both of you laugh as you playfully hit his arm with your clutch purse at whatever he said.

I shouldn't be feeling this way. I have DeeDee, and feeling jealousy towards your ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend is almost like cheating. Almost. It feels just as wrong.

He's the one, isn't he, Cammie?

He's going to be the one you'll ultimately choose. You two are staring into each other's eyes with such burning intensity, it looks as if you guys want to run away right now and elope.

Is it possible to have such hatred towards someone you barely even know?

Well, that's the case with me and Zach.

I hate Zach, and we haven't even had a conversation that lasted more than five minutes together. But I knew I hated him from the start. He didn't leave a very good impression on me: holding your hand, and then the second time DeeDee and I saw him with you, he almost _kissed_ you.

I know I'll always hate Zach because he's tall with broad shoulders and a face that belongs on the red carpet and, if that weren't enough, he has you. That's what I envy the most. He has your heart, your lips, your everything. He's the one who receives that smile and hears that laughter and showers you with gifts and gets to hold you in his arms and gets to lace his fingers with yours. He's the one you'll turn to whenever things get hard, whenever life comes at you too fast. He's the one that knows every detail about you; that gets to hear your pains, that gets to know your secrets. When you're charging towards your future, he'll be the one right behind you, to catch you if you fall.

As I look back up at you two, he places an arm around your shoulder and you both head off, talking, laughing, smiling.

I turn around, turn my back to you and Zach, unable to stand seeing much more, and walk back into the pharmacy.

My choice doesn't feel right.

But I'm walking away from you and towards DeeDee, the girl I'm with now, the girl who could never be you.

I guess you got to pick who you want, and I'll just have to settle.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ Whoa. Shorter than I'd imagined. And, not much ZCness as I'd like but it _is_ from Josh's POV, so yeah. I think it turned out pretty fine, though. I think writing jealous-Josh was pretty fun for me. I've never hated Josh, but I never really liked him either and I like Zach and Zach/Cammie _so_ much more. And, that's pretty much it. Feedback, please?


End file.
